I do think too much

I think too much about unnecessary things..
Those who don't me well enough might think I'm an happy-all-the-time person..
But seriously, I'm not. I guess I like to pretend that my problems aren't there most of the times so I don't think about it..
and when I do think about it.. It just goes downhill from there..
I think about what should've happened, might've happened..could've happened..
and maybe all of this is my fault.. I'm not good enough..
Also sometimes I take people's comments personally..
even though I know they are just joking..
and I think about that too.. why would they say that.. do they really meant it?
I think I cry about many things..
I can't hold my tears..
I cry when I feel lonely
I cry when I feel helpless
I cry when I feel hopeless..
I cry when I feel like I want to give up..
I cried so many times..
I think I cry more as I get older..
It's weird..
Sometimes I cry for the sake of crying..
I just want to cry..
or think about sad stuff..
and cry about that..
=__= wtf?
I don't wanna dwell in this emoness =***(
or maybe I do..
gahhh~ why am I so complicated?!